The choice between co-parenting and parallel parenting should be guided by the current reality of your relationship with your ex—not wishful thinking or social pressure. Ask yourself:
- Can we communicate respectfully and productively, even when we disagree?
- Have we been able to separate our personal grievances from our parenting responsibilities?
- Is our conflict hurting our child or putting them in the middle?
If the answer to these questions is no, parallel parenting may be a healthier and safer option.
It’s also okay to re-evaluate your approach over time. In some cases, parents begin with parallel parenting and, as emotions settle and trust is rebuilt, shift into a more cooperative co-parenting relationship. In others, the boundary of parallel parenting remains necessary and beneficial long-term.
